I think it’s time for heart-to-heart. I am just finishing my first year of sixth form/junior year/year 12 and in a few months I’m going to have to start applying for universities and deciding what I want to do with my life which is pretty terrifying. I used to be the girl who had it all planned out, I knew what I wanted to do from probably the age of seven and even though I had a couple of different ideas, I generally knew what I wanted for a large portion of my life but in the past two years everything has changed.
A few doubts turned into major changes in my plans for the future and it’s worrying me. I guess it all started with the Internet AKA the source of all of my problems. When I was younger probably up until the age of 15 I had it all planned out I made decisions that corresponded with the career I wanted and did a lot of research but then I started getting into the Internet. My knowledge of the world and paths I could take expanded, I discovered a bunch of different passions and started to develop new ones. Don’t get me wrong I love that I’ve learnt so much in the past few years but it’s changed my perspective on life in general and what I want to do to the point where I I have no idea where I’m going at all. I want to do something creative but also want I like stability and don’t want to be stressed out about things like money and whether or not I’m going to get a job, however those two things aren’t completely compatible. I feel like in creative industries you need to put aside your need for stability and all of those things and pursue your passion but that is a lot easier said than done.
I really want to go to university I’ve always wanted to go to university but looking through prospectuses and websites I’m finding it really difficult to find a degree that I love and that has good career prospects. I think one of the biggest struggles people deciding to go to university is deciding wether they should pursue what they love or what’s practical. Usually I would be on the side of do what you love however with University it’s very different, regardless of what degree I do I’m going to be quite dependent on my parents financially for the next few years and I don’t want to do a degree that is going to leave me unemployed and living at my parents house because a) I’ll feel like A bit of a disappointment and b)my pride just won’t let me do that.
So here I am on a Sunday night thinking a lot, trying to do some research without stressing myself out in the hopes that I’ll get a little bit closer to making a decision.
This post hasn’t really been beneficial to anybody else but it’s kind of helped me to sort out how I’m feeling and puts my thoughts to pen (or metaphorical pen- iphone keyboard) and just understand why I’m feeling this way.
What’s one decision that you’ve found really difficult to make? if you want to share it leave it in the comments and I will be back soon.
PS: two weeks after originally writing this blog posts I am feeling a lot better and kind of have an idea of what I want to do 🙂