Every thing’s changing but that’s okay?

Sweaters, pumpkin spice lattes, baking, blankets, boots, fall colours, fireworks, movie nights, autumn is filled with so many lovely things that make me feel warm and cosy both inside and out, but my favourite thing about the fall and nature in general is trees, or more particularly leaves.I’m one of those people who finds metaphors in everything and cannot explain anything without likening it to something else and this is no exception.

Autumn makes me feel a lot of things but the most encompassing is the feeling that everything is about to change, the fall is like this grace period before things begin to get harder. I’ve just started my final year of school and though I know in the back of my mind that things are about to get hard, I have this sense of peace when I see the leaves and blue skies. Winter is coming and with it, cold days exams and darkness but right now everything is carefree. It’s a time when I can really enjoy the things I love like books and baking whilst remembering that I still  have things I need to do.

For me trees represent life. Life is just a series of cycles, we have good times and bad, we go through periods of time when everything is upbeat and carefree, times when it’s so dark both inside and out that it’s almost unimaginable that life could come from our current circumstances, there are seasons of hope and new beginnings and there are seasons where you check in on how you’re feeling, how you’ve grown and how you want to move on.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my future and goals, not just what university I want to go to, the degree I want to do and the career I feel will make me happiest no. I’ve been putting a lot of thought into where I want to be in a couple of years both mentally and personally.

There are a lot of areas in my life that could improve, from the way that I interact with people when first getting to know them to my spiritual life and relationships with the people around me.

To quote the title of one of my favourite songs,I wanna get better each and every day in each and every way. That was the laziest of rhymes but I mean it.

I’ve been shedding a lot of leaves recently; people, bad habits, unhealthy obsessions, unnecessary worries and in my heart I can feel that something good is about to happen. Though I’m not the same person I was this time last year, I’m happy with the change. Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking that change is a bad thing but I’m realizing that it’s not, change means that you’re growing, it means that you’re refusing to settle for a life that doesn’t fulfill you, it means you’re stretching out you’re branches to reach your dreams and growing stronger because of it.

Yes it’s not going to be plain sailing, no season is, you can’t have christmas without the bitter cold or long summer holidays without the weeks of exam prep and saving money to make it worthwhile.

Life is a series of events that can shape you or knock you, not break you. Only you or in this case I can allow myself to be broken by the bumps and seemingly never ending diversions that life takes me on.

My life is by no means perfect, but it is filled with so many amazing moments and people that make me feel blessed each day. I’m trying to live with a Philippians 4:12 mentality this autumn as life takes me on this journey, and when spring comes around and new life begins to grow, I’ll appreciate all of the not so fun times that got me here.

love and light

Rufaro

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