Oh my goodness autumn could you have gone any faster, I hate writing these kind of cliches but it really does feel like I was starting year 13 last week and now we’re already three months in, wow.
It could’ve been a lot worse. You were not nor are you ever really my favourite season life wise, yes there are loads of pretty leaves and apple and cinnamon flavoured foods but if we’re both being honest here you’re just a taste of the winter that’s about to come. We had our first really cold day last week, gone are the days where I could leave the house without my coat or the evenings where my greatest worry was whether or not the coolness of September mornings would transform into a heatwave by the time I went home.
My favourite thing that came from you is all the new ideas and projects that I really want to get into this winter; from the novel I started (and am very excited about) in November to the video and other online things (ooh mysterious) that I want to make these next few months. Though life wise it hasn’t been that eventful it’s been a time of learning things and preparation which I’m grateful for. I think I’m finally coming out of this weird thing I’ve been in since september, I don’t really know how to describe it; a part of me was feeling really positive and grateful about everything but it didn’t quite translate into happiness. I was feeling a little bit stressed out and I think senioritis and being in my own head way too much made it worse but I’m feeling a bit more motivated and have basically made my new mantra “just because a thought comes into your head doesn’t mean it has to stay there which has been good for me.
Hopefully by the time that winter really sets in I would’ve sent off my personal statement maybe received an offer or two, but if that hasn’t happened yet it’s okay because I’ve really learnt these last few months to be content regardless of the situation, No I don’t mean that I’m okay with things not going to plan or not doing as well as I would want to, I’m just learning that life happens regardless of my attempts to make the universe bend to my will.
I was listening to a podcast back in October and the host was interviewing Tavi Gevinson and at some point Tavi said something that instantly connected with me “no magic moments ever come from trying to art direct your own life you have to let magic moments happen to you”. I’m trying to write something about that which I’ll probably post at some point in winter, but I just wanted to leave you with that autumn, a reminder for next year if we’re both still around, you can’t manipulate your life and the people around you to do go exactly the way they want to and in a way that’s kind of the beauty of life (who am I trying to convince).You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or even 10 minutes from now, yes we have ideas in our heads but the universe has no responsibility to act the way you want it to so take the good with the bad, make sure the people around you know that they’re loved and needed and special, try not to dwell too much on the inconsequential things and I pray buy some non heeled boots that will keep your feet dry when there’s a sudden torrential rain pour on the way home those flats just aren’t cutting it.
Until next time,
Love and Light