December has finally come. Or should I say December has crept up on me faster than I anticipated. I’m not yet sure how I feel about the year coming to a close but what I do know is that in the last few months, since I moved away from home for the first time and started university, I have learnt a lot about myself. Some of those things I suspected all along some things have taken me by surprise but as the semester draws to a close one thing that I know for sure is that who I am now is much different to who I was the day I walked out of my schools sports hall after my final exam. I don’t even remember what subject the exam was on, this year has moved so fast.
I am actually into that Jesus thing
when you grow up with parents of faith and spend a lot of your time at church-related events it’s easy to mistake a circumstantial way of life with genuine faith and being on my own for once with nobody to encourage me to go to church or stick to the values I was raised with has revealed quite a number of things the most important being that my faith is real and a guiding force in my life.
I’m not shy, I just need to push myself
Sometimes I confuse my introversion with shyness. I enjoy my own company and get a lot of my energy and inspiration from being alone, but I also really talking and meeting new people and having a community. But sometimes, no a lot of the times, I convince myself that the effort it takes to do all of those people is better spent in my room reading or watching the newsroom and while those are both things I enjoy, people are important and intentionally seeking out those connections and conversations is something worth investing time into.
I’m at my happiest when my diary is full
I LOVE DOING THINGS! wow, revelations on revelations. For the past two years, I’ve had it all wrong, Sixth form and A levels and revision and just being drained all the time tricked me into thinking that I was at my happiest when I had nothing to do. I would anticipate the evenings where I could just sit in bed and watch movies guilt free but now having nothing to do makes me restless and frankly a little bit sad. I love the societies I’m a part of, the job I’ve started and all the little projects and ideas that I’ve been pouring myself into and while there are some days where my extracurricular life and actual school work clash and leave me feeling a bit overwhelmed they are by far outnumbered by the nights I come home thoroughly exhausted from doing things I enjoy that are helping me grow.